Afghan Lexicon

The Quintessential Lexicon for Afghanistan

Afghan Good Enough  A standard that fails to meet any requirement on the planet except for Afghanistan

Afghan Right  See “Afghan Good Enough”

Be the monkey  One video says it all

Billion  The new million

CBAC  Container-Based Afghan Camp; pronounced “See-Back”

Collaborative Ignorance  Working group meetings that result in a net depreciation of shared knowledge accompanied by a increase in the collective confidence in a failing plan

Feeding the pigeons  Providing information to others that creates a spiraling vortex of increased requests for information

FOB  Forward Operating Base; pronounced “Fob”

Fobbitts  The overwhelming majority of expatriots and military that rarely, if ever, step foot outside the wire

Futality  The pursuit of a hopeless endeavor which only sucks the life out of you; the result of an idiodyssey

Good Idea Fairy  The inner voice that gives someone, generally of high rank, the notion that somehow they have a better plan that is worth changing years of planning and preparation to implement; See “Bob on the FOB” post

GroundFOB Day  The perception that every day in Afghanistan is indistinguishable from any other; See “Bob on the FOB” post

Idiodyssey  The endless wandering of a limitless amoebic mass whose principle contributions are mindless omnivorous consumption and a trail of more unquestioning sycophants; see “NTM-A”

ISAF  I Saw Americans Fighting

Little Blue Pillbox  The blue burqas muslim women where around Kabul

Machine Gun Port  The slit in the burqa for muslim women’s eyes

NATO  Need Americans To Operate

NTM-A  NATO Training Mission — Afghanistan; THE self-licking icecream cone

President Hamid Karzai  Mayor of Kabul

Pass me the rock  Can you spare a square?

Strategic Basing  Barf on paper

TOC  Tactical Operations Center; pronounced “Tock”

Tocroaches  Pronounced “Tock-Roaches”; see “Fobbits”

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